Monday, April 7, 2014

Let's Talk Environment

Have you ever played The Sims? If you have you know there is a tab marked "environment." If your Sim is in a clean, neat surrounding, their environment goes up. If they are in a dirty, cluttered surrounding, their environment goes down. Environment plays a big factor in their mood. If their environment gets too low, their mood plummets and they become very unhappy. I am not even going to embarrass myself by admitting how much time I have wasted playing this stupid, albeit addicting, game.

My environment tab, it's in the red. And it is very much affecting my mood. Now I know that being a SAHM leads people to think I should be able to have a perfectly clean, organized house. My laundry should never pile up, and I should be creating five star cuisine meals for my husband every night. After all, I stay at home all day.

To which I say, PRECISELY! I'm AT HOME all day. With a very active, very destructive toddler, three dogs, and a cat. In a 1,018 sq. ft. house. Which means there are toys EVERYWHERE, and the floors ALWAYS need to be swept. My son is also going through a "follow mommy around and undo whatever she just did" sage. Which means if I put a toy up, he goes and gets it out again. If I throw something away, he goes and digs it out of the trash. Plus, his instinct to shred every piece of paper he can get his hands on. And let's not forget his love of playing in the dog's water bowel. My house, to put it mildly, is a mess. Unfortunately, it has gotten to the point where it feels like I am losing my mind. And if your wondering why I just clean after he goes to bed, the answer is simple. My the time he's in bed I'm exhausted from chasing an active toddler all day. I'm lucky if I can manage enough energy to take a shower and brush my teeth.

I am, by nature, NOT a neat person. Remembering my bedroom growing up reinforces this. I HATE to clean. Unfortunately, my husband is even less of a neat freak than I am. He is also a pack rat. He throws nothing away. The other day I Was going through his many "boxes" and found a piece of paper that had the name an number on it. He wrote that when he was fifteen. It's really ridiculous. We're both ridiculous when it comes to throwing things away. Just today I threw away all the info te hospital gave me on breastfeeding a newborn (that I never actually read). My problem is that as much as I hate to clean, when I try it feels like I'm getting nothing accomplished, and that makes me even more frustrated. But something has got to be done.

I'm determined to get a handle on my environment. First thing, I'm going to tackle the black hole of our house, aka the spare bedroom. This is the home to all the junk we don't want to get rid of, but don't have any place to put. Don't ever put something in there if you might want to use it again, because it will quickly disappear. I think that if I can get this room organized, it might help me to give the rest of the house the deep cleaning it deserves. I know that if I go at it trying to do everything in a single day or even weekend, it will quickly become overwhelming. So I've decided to simply make it a point to do one thing in there everyday. Yesterday I went through and organized a box of ribbon that had gotten knocked over. Today I went through a box and threw a bunch of stuff away. Can you tell by looking that I did anything? No. But I know I did and it makes me feel a little better to know that I'm doing SOMETHING to try and improve my environment.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Back on the Meds

I nursed Squishy for the last time on March 4, one day after his birthday. My goal was to nurse him for a year, and I did. I was ready, and so was he. My milk supply had been declining and I could tell he was getting frustrated at how much work was required. Besides the boy LOVES his solids. So on March 4 I cuddled my  boy close, thinking I'd give one more nursing session and enjoy our last moment of this kind of closeness. Squishy gave two good tugs, then got frustrated and bit down. Hard. That was it for me. I was done. Luckily so was he. It's been a month and he only cried for the boob once. Weaning him was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I have no regrets. I did what I wanted to do. I nursed him for a year, helped build his immune system, ad saved us a butt ton of money. (We bought TWO cans of formula his whole first year). I'm glad I did it, but I don't miss it. And honestly, I'm glad that part is over.

For the past few months it seems like my PCOS systems have flared. They never went away, but I've noticed that they seem to be getting worse. I feel like a walking billboard for this esteem-crushing disease. (Just call me Fat Hairy). I called my dr. about getting back on the Met now that Squishy was weaned. Of course, they wouldn't just call it in; I had to go get labs drawn. Then I had to wait a week and call twice before I got my results. Imagine my surprise (note sarcasm) when my insulin and progesterone came back "a little high." So, I'm back on the Met. 500mg twice a day. Hopefully this will help with those pesky symptoms and help get things regulated.

Speaking of regulated, the Red Lady showed up yesterday. That means it's only been...157 days since my last cycle. I was breastfeeding for most of that so I know that puts me in a special category. I did read that it's not uncommon for it to take a year after weaning for a normal, healthy woman's period to return. Yet, I got one an exact month after my last nursing session. Not really sure of that's a good thing or bad thing.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Thoughts on TTC #2

I kinda feel like this is a confusing topic since we haven't done any preventing, aside from breastfeeding, since Squishy was 4 months old. I had my first post-partum period in May and I've had one more period since then that started at the end of October. So it's been nearly 5 months since my last period.

I've been in the process of weaning Squishy for about a month and he is almost completely off the boob. I was hoping that once his nursing slacked off my cycles would start regulating but so far, no luck.

February 26th was the Mr.'s birthday. I had been feeling kinda icky (nauseous and tired) for as few days leading up to his birthday. I had a $1 test in our bathroom and that night I decided to take it thinking it would be neat to get a positive (I didn't think it would actually be positive) test on his birthday. Well, there was a super faint line. It was very faint but it looked exactly like the positive I got with Squishy. So the Mr. went running to town at 11:30 at night to pick me up a FRER. I almost lost it while he was gone. I was so scared, but I don't know if I was more scared it would be negative or if it would be positive. I would LOVE to have another baby, and I would LOVE for Squishy to have a sibling that was close to his age. However, the thought of being pregnant again terrifies me. Not so much that I had a difficult pregnancy, just the fear that goes along with it. The over analyzing of every twinge and pain, the constant look out for blood, the anxiety leading up to each doctor's appointment. Then there is also knowing I'm going to have to have a c-section and recovery was hard enough last time without adding an active toddler to the mix. Anyway the FRER gave me a BFN, I guess I had my first experience with an evap line. I was surprised at how disappointed my husband was. Apparently he was really hoping for a positive.

I'm not real sure how I feel right now. I switch between being disappointed and relieved. However, I do believe that if I were to get another BFP excitement would crowd out all the negative emotions.

Monday, March 3, 2014

12 Months Old; One Year

Oh my, how fast a year goes. Especially when it is your baby's first year. It all seems like a blur. It has been a wonderful, exhausting, year. It's hard to believe that in 12 months my baby went from this:

To This:
Squishy walks all over the place now, he tries to run a lot of the times. His vocabulary grows every day. If there is something he wants, nothing can stand in his way of getting it. He has no fear, he will climb to the highest heights and leap from them. He keeps us on our toes constantly. 
He has brought so much joy to our  lives. He is my biggest blessing. He has introduced me to a new kind of love I never knew existed. I could not ask for more. 

Happy Birthday, Sweet Little Man. 

Monday, February 3, 2014

11 Months Old

Dear Baby Boy,

You are the biggest joy in my life. Your smile can light up a room and brighten even the darkest of days. You are into everything now. You have become quite the little escape artist and if mama turns her head for a second you are in the next room finding things to get into to.

We expect you to start walking any day now.You have been pulling up for awhile now and are steadily getting braver in your attempts. You are a little piggie that eats whatever we put in front of you. I love how you are not the least picky when it comes to food.

I'll admit I'm having a hard time with you turning one so soon. I'm not quite ready to give up my "baby."

Monday, January 27, 2014


First off I wanted to update on the couple in my previous post. They met their goal two days before their son arrived. They took him home from the hospital day before yesterday and now are just waiting to finalize the adoption.

Most everyone I know makes some type of New Year's Resolutions and I am no different. In fact, I jumped right on board the cliche train and made the same resolutions as the other 90% of the population.

1. Lose Weight/Eat Healthier/Exercise More-I had hoped nursing would shed the pregnancy pounds. It helped, but I was still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. I have less than 2 months left of breastfeeding and it's time to get busy. I rejoined My Fitness Pal and so far, five weeks into it, I've lost 7 pounds. I'm happy with that. Having PCOS makes losing weight feel like I'm trying to climb Everest without assisted oxygen, but it can be done. Slow progress is still progress.

2. Work on gettin rid of debt-I HATE debt! (Who doesn't right?) We don't have a lot of credit card debt, but I do have a significant amount of student loans. Of course the term "significant" is my opinion. To someone who has $10,000 in student loans my loans would seems significant. However, someone who has $100,000 in student loans might scoff at my little sum. Moving on. I would love to get our car paid off then put everything we were paying towards our car on my student loans. I'm very hopeful we can make it happen. If not this year then next.

3. Get out more. I love being a SAHM, but there are times when I feel like I'm going crazy in this house. As Squishy gets older it becomesess overwhelming to load him up and go. I'm going to attempt to have more mommy-son dates. We're also going to be traveling more this year. We're taking our first family vacation in March and the Mr. and I are planning on going on a retreat in September. I don't know which makes me more nervous, a road trip with a one year old or leaving Squishy with his grandparents for two nights.

4. ENJOY my family. Squishy's first year went by so fast. I'm going to make a concentrated effort to enjoy my time with him and the Mr. this year. Yes, there is laundry to be washed and floors that need mopping, but they can wait long enough for me to read my baby a book or get in the floor and play with him.

There are some more things I'd like to accomplish, but those are the main ones. Hopefully by the end of this year I'll be a healthier, happier, and richer mamma and wife.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Please Help!

It's a sad story, but one that is all too familiar in the ALI community. Boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, and try to start a family.

10 years of marriage, several miscarriages, and trips to the infertility doctor that resulted in failure; they still have empty arms. Adoption is something their willing to do, but the cost is overwhelming. New Year's Eve they receive news that they have the opportunity to adopt a precious baby boy. The only catch is they have to have $39,000 in adoption fees by the time the mother gives birth, and she is scheduled for a C-Section on Janurary 16. Yes folks, just a little over two weeks to raise 39 THOUSAND dollars! But in 8 days this family has managed to raise over $22,000. That. Is. Incredible. But it's not quite enough.

If you could find it in your heart to donate to their fund, I know they would greatly appreciate it. Imagine how it would feel, after 10 years of waiting, to lose your take home baby because of a few thousand dollars. Please give from your heart and help bring this sweet child home to the parents that have waited so long for him.