Wednesday, January 28, 2015

It's Always Something

Over the weekend I felt like I was getting a UTI. Great, just what I wanted after getting rid of a yeast infection. I called the on call nurse, explained my symptoms and she called in an antibiotic for me to start taking immediately.

I have had many UTIs. I have been pregnant before. I have never had a UTI while pregnant. Saturday night I peed myself. Umm...ok, haven't had that happen with a UTI before. Sunday I was constantly peeing myself. Every time I stood up I peed. I would be walking and pee. I either wouldn't feel the urge at all, or feel it and pee immediately after and wasn't able to make it to the bathroom.

Monday I called my doctor, just looking for some reassurance that what I was experiencing was normal. Instead they made me an appointment for two hours after I called. It seems that what I was describing could be indicative of two things: 1. A bacterial infection. 2. Leaking fluid.

I went in. They did some tests and an ultrasound. They are sending the tests off for cultures to check for infections. Doctor said my fluid levels were "a little low." So I'm to go back Monday for a follow up. I'm trying not to stress and worry to much. Before I left my doctor told me that based on her examination she felt I was just suffering from an infection, but we're trying to know for sure that's what it is.

I've been chugging water and taking the antibiotics. I'm no longer peeing all over the place and feeling much better. I'm just anxious for Monday and hopefully be reassured that everything is fine. The one bright spot in all this is that the tech told us she was over 95% sure what Poppy's sex was. But I'm not ready to share that yet. 1. I'm going to wait until another ultrasound and hopefully they'll be 99+% sure. 2. I want to make the reveal a special post all it's own.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

7 Years

Yesterday was the anniversary of our first date. The Mr. and I met online. We chatted online for awhile and talked some on the phone before he asked me out to a lunch date.

Time is a funny thing. It feels like the Mr. has been a part of my life forever, I have a hard time remembering life before him. But I remember that date like it was yesterday. I remember what I wore. I remember what he wore. I remember walking into the restaurant and the thought, "You could be about to meet your husband," entered my mind. I remember laughing at myself because I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. I went mainly because I was offered a free meal at one of my favorite restaurants. I remember the first time I saw him and my first thought was about the coat he was wearing and how ugly I thought it was. I remember it was standing room only in the waiting area, since it was a holiday they were very crowded. Some of the hostesses brought around trays of appetizers for people to eat while they waited. I was so hungry and wanted one so badly, but I declined because I was afraid the green and black spices would get stuck in my teeth. Today I still regret not trying the fried ravaloi. I remember what I ordered and what he ordered. I remember how he just kept staring at me, but was making such an effort to hide the fact he was staring at me, but he failed miserably. When we had been dating a while I asked him if he knew how nerve racking it was trying to eat when someone is staring so intently at you. His reply, "I couldn't help it. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." (Be still my heart). I remember as we were leaving he turned to me in the parking lot and asked if he could see me again sometime. I said sure, honestly expecting to never hear from him again. For me, there were no fireworks. The earth didn't move. I didn't hear bells ringing or look deeply into his eyes and know he was "the one." He called me that night and set up a date for the following Saturday.

Thus, began the story of how the Mr. and I came to be. Hardly a day went by that we didn't see each other. He worked nights. I was in school full time and worked a part time job, but we somehow managed to spend all the time together we could. Whether that was metting at 7 in the morning for breakfast, or meeting at 1 in the morning for coffee. We fell fast and we fell hard. The Mr. was hooked on the first date. It took me a little longer, though not much, but when I did come around that was it.

It seems crazy to think of how much stuff can happen in 7 years. Marriage. Buying, not one, but three houses. Infertility. Overcoming infertility. A job promotion. An energetic two year old and another baby on the way. Life is an adventure. It's full of trials and joys, and it has it's ups and downs. It is a crazy, crazy ride. But I'm so thankful to have my husband in the seat next to me. I wouldn't want to travel this road with anyone else.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Gender Disappointment

I hit 15 weeks yesterday. I've entered that glorious second trimester where morning sickness disappears overnight, I have more energy, and food is once again my best friend. Plus, the flutters in my tummy are becoming more prominent and happening more often. I'm feeling pretty good.

This pregnancy is going by a lot faster than my first. I suspect it's because I have a very active toddler occupying all my time and attention. With Squishy the weeks drrraaagggeeeddd. Each day felt like a week and each week felt like a month as I counted down the hours until I reached those all important milestones. Second trimester.  Viability. Full term. With Poppy (the nickname my husband has given Baby #2) I wake up each Sunday and think, "Wow, another week flown by." It seems impossible that I have KNOWN I was pregnant for nearly 12 weeks.

I'm in a few online forums and groups with women due in July. Many of them are at the stage where they can get early ultrasounds and bloodwork done to determine gender.  It seems everyday I log in and read posts about "gender disappointment." Some one really wanted pink and got blue and now they can't stop crying. Someone's husband really wanted blue and got pink and now he's already talking about trying again. Gender disappointment brings up a lot of mixed feelings.

When I was wanting a baby so badly, I thought gender disappointment was one of the stupidest things I'd ever heard. Why are you complaining that you just found out you were pregnant with your fifth boy? You have FIVE kids. Be grateful! Before I got pregnant with Squishy I could see myself having two boys. I'm not sure why, but when I pictured my family I pictured two boys. When I saw my very first positive HPT I told the Mr., "I'm pregnant, and it's a boy." I just had this deep down feeling Squishy was a boy. I can't tell you how I felt when I found out I was right.

In trying for Baby #2, I've always pictured a second boy. For 15 months I saw a little brother for Squishy. That is, until I saw those two lines. When I saw that positive test I tried to picture a boy, but I just...couldn't. All I could picture was dresses and bows and pink everywhere. If someone ask me what I think I say, "Girl."

I'm hopeful our dr will be able to get a peek at the goods at our next appointment on the 30th. Reading of so many women being disappointed with the sex of their baby, I began to fear that I might be disappointed with the sex of mine. So I sat down and really thought about how I felt. I admitted to myself that if I had the power to choose, I'd choose a girl this time. Then I began to worry that I would be disappointed if I had a boy. A couple days later I had a dream where the dr told me I was having a boy and I woke up excited, and a little disappointed to discover I was only dreaming. Will I be disappointed if I find out I'm having a boy instead of a girl? Yes. But it won't be disappointment because I'm having a boy, it'll be disappointment that my inkling (that was spot on with Squishy) was WRONG. I'll have no reason to be disappointed with the baby.

I'm excited to have another baby. If it's a girl, great. If it's a boy, that will be equally as wonderful.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Squishy Update

I am disbelief that in a little over two months my little man will be TWO! How is that possible? 

He changes everyday and I am amazed at how smart he is, how fast he learns. His vocabulary is constantly increasing, he no longer walks but runs everywhere. And his problem solving skills are outrageous! He has proven that when he wants something, not much can stand in his way. 

He's a little ham that keeps me and his daddy smiling and laughing constantly. I have to be on my toes with this one. His favorite movies are Toy Story and Finding Nemo. He'll tell us he wants to watch "Fish," or "Toys." He love cars, trains, "horsies," and balls. He loves to give kisses, head butts, and to stick his feet under your nose while telling you to "Mell." And when you make a gaging face he dissolves into the most contagious giggles. We'll tell him to "kiss the baby," and he'll drop whatever he is doing to kiss my belly. Then he'll kiss his daddy's belly, and everyone else's in the room. 

This little boy has introduced me to a whole new kind of love that I never knew existed. He has brought so much joy to our lives. We are so thankful God chose us to be his parents. He is truly our greatest gift. 


Saturday, December 6, 2014

One Beautiful Heartbeat

My ultrasound Monday showed one healthy heartbeat of 160. Baby's measurements matched my charts exactly and the doctor confirmed my predicted due date of July 5. One thing that I found irritating was how every person I talked to prior to seeing my doctor insisted on using my last period to indicate how far along I am. I have PCOS, I didn't ovulate until CD TWENTY-SEVEN, my last period means squat where my ovulation in concerned. Everyone brushes me off like I didn't have the sense to know what I was talking about. So I go into my ultrasound and my dr expresses concerne because I'm measuring over a week behind. Once I told her the dates in my chart were wrong and told her I should only be 9 weeks instead of 10, baby measured perfectly. I'm thankful I charted and know exactly when I ovulated, or else I would be freaking out.

My dr also mentioned that I had the option to try for a natural delivery. I didn't think she supported VBACs, but she said we could try if that was what I wanted. I don't really know how I feel about that. We came so close to losing Squishy, there is a lot of comfort in scheduling a repeat c-section. However, I really feel like I missed out on the whole birthing experience with Squishy, and that was something I mourned extensively. Then there is always the chance I could endure another long labor, only to end up with another emergency section anyway. Thankfully, I have some time to make my decision.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

6W3D

I'm a little over 6 weeks today. I've been dealing with nausea, exhaustion, insomnia, food aversions, sore boobs, and wacky pregnancy dreams that have me contemplating getting a pschycratic evaluation. The usual early pregnancy symptoms.

I did have a scare last week, some pretty intense cramping on my left side. I called my doctor and they sent me to the radiology department for an ultrasound. All the tech saw was a sac and yolk, she said she thought she might have seen a fetal pole but she wasn't sure. I was really early (5w4d). My uterus is tilted. And there was some obvious scar tissue from my c-section. All of these things made it difficult for her to get a good view of what was going on in my uterus. We did rule out an ectopic pregnancy and the sac was measuring 5w6d, so that made me feel better.

I feel so different this pregnancy. With Squishy I was a nervous wreck. With this one I kind of have this "what will be will be" mentality. I'm trying to enjoy it, and I am. I don't want to spend the whole 9 months fixating on what might/could go wrong. I also figure it has something to do with the toddler running around here taking up all my time and attention. Last time I was pregnant I was able to take naps whenever I wanted, and lay on the couch and fixate on all the possible outcomes. Now I'm too busy trying to locate Finding Nemo so he can watch "Fish" and looking for "Pass" (his pacifier) during nap time. Nausea and queasiness? Those diahrra diapers still have to be changed so I've just got to suck it up and deal with it. Toddlers don't understand food aversions. They still want their lunch of ketchup with a side of chicken nuggets, even if the smell of the nuggets cooking makes mommy gag. It's great.

I do love this baby and I do want him/her desperately. Hopefully in another 7 and a half months I'll be getting some newborn cuddles.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

2nd Beta

I went in last Monday, Oct 27, for my first beta. I received a call Tuesday telling me my levels were 383, the number was good and that I did not need to come in for a repeat. I received a call Wednesday    telling me that Dr. Lady Parts wanted me to come in next Monday to make sure my numbers were doubling.

I went in yesterday, November 3, for my repeat beta. I was praying for something over 3,000. I just received a phone call telling me my numbers came back at 6,876. I had a feeling they were going to be high. Now I'm even more anxious for my first ultrasound in December.