Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Beta Number

My beta came back at 383. The nurse said I will not need to come in for a repeat. They estimate I am about 4 weeks along.

My first ultrasound is scheduled for December 1st. If you don't hear from me it's because I've been committed because I have went insane from having to wait so long to see a heartbeat.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

12 DPO...BFP!!!

I am in shock! I honestly thought this cycle was a bust and was anxious for AF to arrive so I could start anew. I tested on a whim, with my last pregnancy test; upon seeing a BFP I immediately went and bought the CB digital and weeks estimator. According to the test I am 1-2 weeks past ovulation. 

My first beta is Monday and my first ultrasound is scheduled for November 14. I am super early, not even four weeks; and I'm guessing I'll be due in early July. 

The Mr. and I are stunned, but also over the moon thrilled and excited. We are so very thankful for the precious life growing inside me. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

7 DPO...again

After entering my temps this morning, FF readjusted my ovulation date. It originally said I ovulated on CD 16, now it is saying I ovulated on CD 27. Instead of being 18 DPO ovulation and expecting AF to arrive any minute, I am now 7 DPO and only halfway through my TWW.

This cycle has been a rollar coaster and I'm just ready for it to be over. I'm now wondering if I ovulated at all. I am very frustrated and discouraged. I just want my body to work right.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

BFN

I took HPTs at 11 DPO and 15 DPO (because I have no self control), both of them were negative. I haven't felt confident about this cycle since the beginning; I wasn't surprised to see the negatives, but it was still disappointing. I always tell myself that I'm prepared for a negative and won't let it get to me, but it always does. I think some of it has to do with when I found out I was pregnant with Squishy. I fully expected a BFN then too.

Since I know this cycle was a bust I'm ready for AF to arrive so we can start over. (Wow, is this how normal couples feel?) I'm on CD 31 and my boobs have been hurting the past few days, hopefully she'll arrive soon.

I have an appointment with Dr. Ladyparts in December. I'm thinking about asking her to do some blood work to see if I'm ovulating. According to my BBT chart I am, but I'm not sure I 100% trust what it's telling me. I'm also getting nervous about how long it is taking us. It took us 18 months to conceive Squishy. I didn't think I would get pregnant immediately with baby 2, but I was hopeful it wouldn't take us as long. Right now we are at 17 months TTC, so going past the 18 month mark is looking like a very real possibility.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Not Feeling Very Hopeful

I'm 9 DPO today, but I'm not holding onto a lot of hope for this cycle. The only way I know how to explain it is that I don't feel like this cycle is "it" for us. I know it's still early to be symptom spotting, but there really aren't  any symptoms to spot.

My temps show that ovulation was detected. The Mr. and I "covered our bases" so I know our timing was good. Yesterday I had a temp drop below the cover line, but was back up today; and statistically most implantation dips happen 7-8 DPO. But I just don't feel pregnant.

A couple months ago I was so sure I was pregnant. I had so many symptoms and just knew we'd made another baby. I took 5 HPTs because I just could not accept the fact that I could feel so pregnant and not be. I was heartbroken when I finally accepted what all the BFNs were telling me.

I bought a couple of $1 HPTs yesterday, but I'm still undecided about if I want to use them. I may just wait it out and see if AF shows up in a couple weeks.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

7 DPO

The past few weeks I have been tracking my BBT. My FF app picked up ovulation on CD 16. So I am 7 DPO. I'm going into the second week of my TWW, which is always the hardest time for me. The first week usually passes fast, but the second week just drags and drags. It doesn't help that this is also when PMS symptoms start showing up and we all know how PMS mimicks every pregnancy symptom in the book.

I've noticed some cramping in my right/middle abdomen. Could this be implantation? My boobs are a little sensitive, and do they look a little bigger? Waking up in the middle of the night starving, what's up with that? I had all these things when I was pregnant with Squishy, but I've had these same things when I wasn't pregnant either. Then there is the whole, should I test? I always tell myself I won't test until AF is late, but I'm not the best at keeping this intention.

Ugh, it's all so frustrating. There just need to be a little bell that goes off when sperm meets egg, and again when implantation occurs. That way all you have to do is listen for the bells to go off, none of this analyzing every "possible" symptom crap.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Toddler Tantrums

Squishy will be 19 months old next week (WHAT?!?!), and I do believe he is getting an early start on the "terrible twos." This truly is a fun age, but it is also very trying. My sweet, loving baby has been replaced by this throwing, hitting, biting, pinching, screaming little boy. It amazes me how these things just come naturally to him. I'm with him all day and his interaction with other kids is very limited (something I am trying to remedy), and I know he is not picking these things up from me. One day he just started doing them.

Some of the tantrums I understand. He tries so hard to communicate, and there are many times I do understand what he is trying to tell me. Other times he is just babbling away and I haven't a clue what he's saying. These situations usually lead to a melt down, and I get why. I can imagine how frustrating it would be to be trying so hard to communicate with someone and there just not getting it. Throw in the fact that my son is only 18 months old and I fully expect and even understand a these tantrums. What I don't understand is the times he randomly runs up to you with a hit/slap/bite/pinch. It seems that he has learned this new skill and wants to show it off.

I'm having a hard time knowing how to handle it. Do I address it, or ignore it? I've tried both, and it seems that there are times one works and the other doesn't, and the next time the other works. And then there are times when nether works. I'm hopeful this is just a phase that will pass quickly. No one wants to have the "biting kid" in Sunday school.